I couldn’t believe my eyes, shock filled me as I saw the 2 pink lines appear almost instantaneously. It was 3 days before my scheduled blood test and I had been feeling down all day. I had told Jim that I was sure I was not pregnant. We both felt heartbroken and depressed. I decided I needed to cheat and take a home test, if nothing else to confirm my fears so we could move on. Nothing had prepared me for how quickly that test turned positive, I almost didn’t know how to react, so conditioned was I to receiving bad news. It’s amazing how rapidly a day can go from despair to disbelief to joy. I quickly called Jim into the room and showed him the results, he was surprised and joyful. It was a moment I had feared we would never share. Our pregnancy was confirmed with a blood test at our Dr’s office. When they did the follow up blood test a few days later, they told us that there was a good chance it might be twins because my HCG levels were so high. At our first ultrasound they confirmed that suspicion, we were having twins. Both of our embryos that we transferred had implanted and appeared to be doing well. I couldn’t wait for the next ultrasound where we could hopefully detect their heartbeats. It was difficult to wait for each test, because of my previous losses I felt like each day something could go wrong. To our great joy heartbeats were detected at our next visit. I had a few days of spotting blood which turned my heart to ice, I was sure it was the beginning of the end as it had been in the past, but it was very mild and I didn’t even feel the need to mention it to my Dr until our next visit where he assured me that especially with twins it can be very normal. Sure enough the source was obvious on the next ultrasound and the spotting resolved and did not return. As we reached each milestone the tight band of fear around my chest began to loosen. We graduated from our amazing fertility Dr to my OB/GYN. The first trimester was filled with mild nausea, occasional vomiting and slowly the ability to start letting ourselves be excited. It’s hard to describe the emotions you feel when you’ve experienced so much loss and disappointment. We decided to call it “cautiously optimistic”. I am constantly telling people that this has to be the most prayed for pregnancy in history, we have had so much support from family and friends. I have felt the prayers, and I am so very blessed and thankful.
I sought the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears. Psalm 34:4 NKJV
myjourneytohome 