I recently ran across a quote from Elizabeth Edwards, I’m not sure the original source, but it has really spoken to me. “She stood in the storm, and when the wind did not blow her way, she adjusted her sails”. The first time I read it, I misread it, reading “when the wind did not blow her a-way”. I like the quote both ways, there are days when it feels like the wind nearly blows you not just off course, but far out to sea with no hope of course correction. It gives me a feeling of peace to know that when things seem to be at their worst I can simply adjust my sails, adjust my thinking, and sail on. It’s like the quote from Romans 8:28, “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose” (NKJV). It strikes me when it says “WE KNOW”, it doesn’t say “we hope”, “we think”, or even “we pray”, it says “We KNOW”. Wow! We can know, we can choose to have faith, (yes, faith is a choice) we can trust our God that if we “are the called” (which if we have chosen to put our lives in His hands, then we are the called), we can trust that ALL THINGS, ALL THINGS, are working together for our good. It’s very hard to see the good in so many situations in this life, no matter who you are, there is something in your life that you struggle with, something that hurts you deeply, something that sometimes keeps you up at night in tears. The good news is, that God sees those tears, He feels your hurt, He holds you when there is no one else around to wrap you in their arms. And we can know without a doubt in our hearts or minds, that he is working things, ALL things, for our good.
So we have adjusted our sails, we have not given up on fertility options, but since we are in a waiting game right now, we have decided to open the door to adoption. Last week we filled out and mailed our adoption application. The process to be approved to adopt in the state we live in takes approximately six months, then the wait for a child to be placed can take a year or more. We have taken the first “baby” step in this process, there is a long journey ahead. Through all of this, through our “journey to home”, we have grown closer, we have had deeper talks, we are more prepared to be parents than we ever would have been if this had come easily. I am so excited to see how God answers our prayers.
Yesterday as we sat at a long table at a family reunion for my Mom’s side of the family watching the interaction between parents and kids and cousins and grandparents, I was thinking about how wonderful it will be when we have our own kids to bring to the reunion, how awesome it is that we have a family to share with them. Maybe it will be next year, maybe it won’t. I am hopeful, I am prayerful, and I am choosing to live a life of patient expectation. All things are working for good in my life, and I have adjusted my sails to meet the wind, bring it on!