The phone rang, my Dr’s voice on the other line. The long and the short of it was that this cycle had to be cancelled. The hormone levels show that my eggs decided to mature sooner than they were supposed to and the likelihood is that if we did a retrieval they would not be viable. So, we wait however long it takes for the follicles to shrink back down and then we can start injections again.
Over the past 10 days I have injected medications every 12 hours, gone to Dr’s appointments for blood draws and ultrasounds every day for 8 days straight and quit riding horses to protect from ovarian torsion. Today at my appointment we found that my ovaries had slid behind my uterus and were touching, which explained the discomfort that I was experiencing (am still experiencing). I’m looking forward to the follicles getting smaller so that my ovaries shrink back down and feel normal again for a little while.
The first reaction to the news was wanting to cry, wanting to give up, wanting to curl up in a tiny ball and not move for days. However, I had a riding student here about to get on a horse, so of course I could not indulge in my tears. And I have decided not to, don’t get me wrong I will shed some tears, but I cannot choose to wallow in despair. I truly do believe that everything happens for a reason, there is something to be gained by every experience we go through. Maybe my experience and the strength that I have been given to go through it will be a help to someone else on this journey. We don’t always get fairy tale happy endings in life, I have lived that experience many times. However, I am so thankful for the many blessings that I do have in my life. I am not giving up, I will pick myself off, dust off and “cowgirl up”.
But those who wait on the Lord
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.
Isaiah 40:31 NKJV